biggest fan or harshest critic?

It is a human dilemma: finding a balance between ego + heart. 
So here is a question I’ll pose upon you:
Are you your biggest fan?
Or your harshest critic? 
Can we, as humans, find the balance in both?

What happens when you force yourself to feel?
For me, stillness is my biggest challenge, which is why yoga is so integral in my life.
Less fight, more flow.
Slowing down is tantamount in order to listen, to others,
but more importantly to ourselves, to our intuition.
Our wants.
Our hearts.

But endless to-do lists fill my brain, with a common thru line of huge dreams and limited time.  A shaman once told me I fixate on my short legs, because they don’t allow me to run fast enough. But I refuse to get stuck, so I keep moving forward.

Late nights working followed by beer at broome street bar turns into an early morning wakeup. As I fire away emails at 445am, I come out of my trance and remind myself that the city still sleeps + I can slow down. I force myself to shut my eyes if only for another hour.
My ego interrupts and urges me to run.
Because that is what humans do to distract from feeling.  We run.

Often in stillness I am my harshest critic. My ego makes me feel guilty for wanting to take a knee, if only for one hour, Friday at 5am. Ego whispers, ‘move faster. be better. do more,’ while heart hopes for some rest. Today, ego wins + within minutes I jet out the door to box + flow away any insecurity holding me back from moving forward.

We distract ourselves from feeling because it is often easier not to.
Feeling is facing our true selves, our intuition, our hearts not our ego.

On rare occasions, when I shut down my ego + allow love in, I become my biggest fan. If only for a moment, void of attachment, comparison + judgment, I give myself a pat on the back for my effort and dedication.

So: ego or heart? Back to the question I pose unto you,
Are you your biggest fan?
Or your harshest critic?
Ask yourself in stillness, in silence, in solitude,
Not after you landed that hot date, or got the great promotion.
Answer yourself honestly, from your heart – not your ego.
Are you your biggest fan or your harshest critic?
Can you find the balance in both?