have + have not

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.
we all need a reminder, sometimes.
grace. grateful. gratitude.
My internet has been down for days. Verizon exploded in Chelsea + so it goes. No wifi.
Ive been restless. Reliant on internet to keep me company in the early hours and before I go to sleep. I woke up this morning at 5am, and paced around my apartment for an hour or two, before letting myself go back to bed. I shifted my perspective on what i don't have, and embraced what i do: quiet morning hours, no distraction, soft sheets + deep sleep. i let go.

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.
Time, money, energy, freedom, love. If we choose gratitude first. If we stopped wishing we had more, would we see more clearly all that we have?

I ask you this as I ask myself. As I wonder about this past week when two notable names took their own lives. Surely possible that they were grateful in their final moments for all they have, but more probable that they felt a deep emptiness, leaving legacies + loved ones + never to be answered questions.

Life is what you make it. There are circumstances, sure. There are unforeseen complications and less than desirable outcomes, and time is precious. But what if we stopped focusing on all that we don’t and started embracing all that we do. Time is what you make it. Make the most of it.
Spend it doing things you love, with people who you love, going places that you love, when you can. And when you can’t, be where you are + lead with love. Acknowledge your foundation. Find gratitude in everything. Grow from there.

Money is poignant for me now. I started a business, with my own money. I need to grow. I'm pitching investors to invest in my dream to bring more balance to the world - selling confidence + sexy thru the messy, vulnerable unknown, thru what started as a workout but speaks to a feeling, a way of being, a way of life. asking for money is frustrating + uncomfortable. it is far more challenging than swiping right for sex. Money is hard earned, its personal, its defensible, its yours. While sex should be — or might be — its also just, not. pick your poison via tinder or bumble or hinge. Money is different.

I’m struggling to find gratitude in all that I have, as I keep my vision + dreams in check: a business built from sweat, blood + tears, rooted in love + a deep desire to make the world better. A team of committed people, and a community who is willing to learn, grow + connect to themselves. A constant reminder that without all that box + flow is today, there would be no future. Gratitude is the foundation of everything.

Energy, freedom, love.
You choose how your energy shows up. What you output and what you take in. Learn to know how you operate — what fuels you + depletes you. Find gratitude in knowing yourself. Freedom in feeling how you feel. And loving who you are, instead of worrying about all that you don’t and all you are not.

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.