CIAO FOR NOW
IT’S NOT AN ENDING BUT A BEGINNING, or perhaps just a pause, I told myself two weeks ago as I closed the doors to the beautiful flagship I opened three weeks pre-shutdown and dreamed four years prior. But you have to jump in order to fall, and you did!” Now I float and wonder, where will I land? When I opened Box + Flow SOHO 10 months ago, I never thought it would barely spark before Covid wiped out NYC. We’ve all dealt with tragedy, and 2020 has been full of grief for me. But, the message on the front door remains, “Everything You Need is Inside,” not the space but the energy the walls attracted inside. The sweat + tears, hope and fears, from the door to the desk, the bag to the mat. Box + Flow is a feeling, check your ego at the door, less distraction of how it looks, reconnect to who you are. I felt called to bring this feeling to life. I did, we did. It brought me to life, too. Through its hardship, I found light, learned commitment and courage, gained confidence and grounding, teaching patience + presence, as I taught myself. My purpose, Box + Flow’s purpose, to share what so often seems our greatest challenge, to love ourselves fully. I shared my own struggles + successes with self love, taught as lessons, as I flowed thru my own fight.
Box + Flow demanded grit, the class and business: show up ready for anything + gain perspective along the way! With no mirrors on the walls, instead welcoming the experience as a mirror into our own lives, a study in the human experience, watching people walk in with excitement or anxiety, confidence or insecurity, closed off or connected. No distraction: lights low, music high and no breaks in class, mirroring no breaks in life, a test in resilience: Learning about ourselves with every punch: when self doubt creeps in, we drop our hands, resisting the challenge ahead or granting ourselves permission to grow. And when class, or life gets hard, find your flow thru the fight. I led with love, unless anxiety got in my way, flying by the seat of my pants, with passion but little plan, frequently fighting myself trying to navigate entrepreneurship, a no man’s land. Box + Flow opened my eyes to the freedom within, my heart to love of self, that only I could allow, but first forgiveness of fears and failures along my way. I got out what I put in. So did you. But no one could have predicted Covid.
In March, I sent a note when I first closed the doors, “See you in 2 weeks,” with no idea the end was near, of a community built since 2016, a safe space to allow people to feel. A week later I mourned as I laid off the team I couldn't support anymore. We tried live classes, instagram and zoom, to build a bigger community outside of the box + flow rooms, a global community, connected albeit 2D, without knowing it’d be months before even considering reopening. And now I’m here, no longer in the flagship that was barely seen, but at home quarantined, surrounded by piles of boxes I took with me of unsold apparel, unused gloves, unopened Don Julio Blanco from an opening party that never happened and a piece of the overpriced zebra floor I did months of research for: the perfect mat for a barefoot class, I hauled home.
There is no forever, so for now I place my bookmark here, admittedly with a bit of fear. What now? I reminisce, as I pack memories away -- of sweaty Saturdays followed by beers on the roof, or that time when some guy was pissing on the front stoop at Bond Street, before Mayra’s disco party upstairs. Box + flow isn’t “closing,” just taking a pause to create space to pivot the feeling into something with less walls. The overhead was heavy, stress high - flow shadowed by fight for much of the time. And now I can’t help but wonder, who am I, falling into my trap of defining myself by what I do, because it's all I’ve done for so long. But when all is lost, what is left? It’s You. True to the message on the front door, Olivia, you have what you’re looking for, “Everything You Need is Inside.” The weight of that message far beyond the door, but the energy + passion, the business, the community, what we stand for.
As I packed up the last box and headed home, I realized this fight wasn’t only my own. Thousands of people felt the feeling I was called to share, something that we so often take for granted, that shouldn’t be so rare. The freedom within when we face ourselves first, When I stopped fighting myself, my message rang clear - you have what you need, let go of your fear.
As I reevaluate what’s next, I know for now that Box + Flow will return, not sure when or how, and I’m taking its teachings to my next adventure. For the first time in half a decade I feel free to explore whatever fate has in store, with new courage and confidence to spread my wings and focus on other things, a podcast and book to drive my message home, -- love begins within --that feeling that is, box + flow. Cheers to new adventures, to jumping high and falling low and finding pace in this crazy New York rat race. We are franchising -- so holler if you have interest in owning a place!! If you’re not willing to fall you’re not ready to fly, so with a heavy heart and a deep belly sigh, sadly for now, it is goodbye, never forgetting to #flowthruthefight along this crazy ride, always remembering that Everything You Need, Everything I Need is Inside.
xxOlivia