forgiveness

Humans carry so much fight, the Internal struggles of not being good enough, needing more and feeling less, instead of celebrating who we are. But, To change the world, we must change the way we see ourselves. Hurting others is a result of not feeling enough within. It starts young. Bullies bully to fill their own insecurities. Bullies grow up, but unless they check in, their bully remains. We have to deal with our inner bully first, face ourselves to free ourselves, Learn self love to rid of self hate, and forgive along the way.

This week I observed Yom Kippur. The highest holiday of the year, Jews are meant to atone, pause, forgive. Fasting is customary, but I don’t practice. I know what It feels like to feel empty. Repentance is forgiving myself for the self love I didn’t allow. I don’t need to feel empty to let go. I woke up seeking connection. I streamed temple services for 2 minutes + instead jumped out of bed for @boxandflow. Gloves on. With every punch I forgave me. As I hit the bag, I let go. And with it --a clearer view of me, more gratitude for what I have, more space, more life, more love. I taught after. I led others. I listened. We flowed thru the fight, made space for forgiveness. We found, we felt our freedom. Why do we hold back when we can lean in? Where are those places + spaces of darkness of history of hurt of hope that we hide? What if we uncover our failures, regrets, our fears, to make space for our dreams, for ourselves?What if we forgive ourselves first + face ourselves always? Sure, it is easier to forgive others than to look within. That’s the point. Start with you. Here it goes:
Olivia, I forgive you -- for
holding back, holding on + letting go
for saying too much and not saying enough.
For not loving bigger, ending sooner, or giving more.
for not asking for what you want, taking what you need,
giving all of you + expecting the same in return.
I forgive you for Assuming, Expecting, Regretting.
For losing sleep And wasting time. For waiting.
I forgive you for harming yourself, with words of self hate, or self pity
or Feelings of inadequacy, for depriving you or filling you, For not being kinder to you and to others.
I forgive you for trying to save, fix, or change others,
And for sacrificing yourself along the way.
Olivia I forgive you for not being more present, more loving, more open to those you love most. For not being a better Woman Sister Daughter Lover Boss Human Friend. For not listening closer to your heart, getting distracted by your ego, For forcing instead of feeling. For fighting instead of allowing life to flow.
I forgive you for not feeling whole enough yourself, for reaching out instead of looking in, For seeking others to fill your empty.
You are the only one who can fill your lonely. And you are not alone. I forgive you.
…
Are you willing to look within to see what you’re hiding from?
There is always something — You didn’t do. You didn’t say. Or that you did. Where can you let go of what was, to make space for what is, to become not a better version of yourself, but rather be the person you really are --- Without the shield, the mask, the excuse, the story, the history, Just the raw, the real, the truest version of you Without holding back, or holding on, Forgiveness begins within.
Will you forgive you? I just did. #flowthruthefight
#workhard #livyoung #loveyourself.