self celebration

Celebration to me is not a symbolic affair with tigers + extravagant trips...today.  
Rather it is little tokens of self love and shared love to take notice of all the hard work, The struggle, the time, to build a vision, rather to build the life i want to live.
Choose your life or let it choose you.  
Of course there are unforseen circumstances and curveballs along the way, but we can’t plan for that. And in choosing your life there will always be tradeoffs, no doubt --
But it doesn’t mean celebration is spared. Balance is the key: hard work is not only what you do physically, externally but also the work we put into ourselves to find self respect, self love, to be who we are. It is the work we put into seeing ourselves, so that we can share ourselves, our true selves, without the facade: what lights us up, challenges us, excites us, hurts?
We must be honest within, face ourselves to free ourselves ---and embrace who we are,  particularly our darkest sides. To celebrate you fully, you must first get to know you fully, all sides of you.
It is my goal to learn something new everyday. learning about others lets me learn about me, i connect to further connect within. I am committed to waking up and moving my body daily no matter the hour. I am committed to asking myself the tough questions, challenging myself mentally and emotionally, and opening my heart to vulnerability and even hurt sometimes.
And in all this effort, the ever challenging life ive chosen to build a business, a vision, a team -- and to build myself, I never lose sight of the balance i seek along the way.
Balance in big ways + small ways, but in my way, there is always a way to celebrate:

10 hours of sleep to reset + reconnect, to give my brain rest and my body recentering,
A hot toddy or cold beer surrounded by friends + filled with connected conversation.
A messy no bun burger, made messier as i maul it apart with my hands - tasting, feeling, experiencing my food.  
Cooking in quiet to hear the simmers and pops of my creations, then shared + enjoyed.
A call to my 90 year old grandma to share excitement of new loves or sadness of old ones
Dancing in the streets to hail a cab curbside as i go from one meeting to the next.
A splurge purchase of sexy stilettos i have no business buying.
Eye sex with strangers, ie sporadic eye contact street side, or even better, deep conversation with a cab driver who opens his heart for the brief 10 minutes we share. Seeing + being seen.
Bouts of deep belly laughs that often make onlookers watch in wonder. Hearing + being heard.
A banana laffy taffy, or two bought for a quarter at my favorite corner store.
Feeling + being felt. The best hug, indulgent sex, or just my own crisp sheets the encapsulate me, hold me up, hug me in, after a really long day.
No matter the celebration, it’s there -- i celebrate it.
it is what keeps me centered. connected. present.

Personally, I relate much more to my dark, rigid, hard work side. it is of no issue for me to wake up at 4am, run 5 miles in 25 degree weather before grinding out a 15 hour work day.
I find solace in working for hours in silence, lights off, writing, building, strategizing, alone with laser like efficiency + complete isolation, powering thru tasks or working thru self doubt,

which is why celebration is essential, in the simplest of things, particularly on days when i haven’t let love in, when my energy is heavy + work overwhelms play, when restless thoughts keep me awake, balance escapes and there is only hard work, no livyoung aka living.
Getting to know me, putting in work in myself has made me aware of my habits-- skills and flaws. Getting to know me has led me to face myself, particularly my darkside, and let love in, self love first, to then find a love that fills, continue to do work that inspires, and manage my mind + body to find ease yet always crave more.

Balance is a challenge all of us face, forever.
And to find balance, we must first know ourselves --
Celebrate who we are, rather than regret who we’re not.
This celebration of self, gratitude within, for all that we do + all that we are, allows us then to appreciate all else. Because what is hard work without celebration?
But to celebrate another, we must first celebrate ourselves -- all sides, dark + light.
TO love another we must first love ourselves.
It is hard work, to know yourself, and more so to love yourself.
So the question is, are you willing to look within to see, and be seen?
To love yourself you must know yourself. Are you willing to do the work?
#workhard #livyoung