fear

My sunday scaries might be unlike yours.
i just texted a sweet friend "i have the sunday scaries," -- to his response: “people who do what they love never have sunday scaries.” So i self corrected: My sunday scaries aren’t fear of the “work week.”
My work week never ends. My fear doesn’t either.
Yet if you were to ask me what i’m afraid of, id say “nothing.” Except the unknown.
That fear makes me tick - the unknowing of what is next, and allowing myself to fear + push thru that feeling.
I am always pushing myself and others, to dig deeper + ask for more. And while confidence defines me in many ways, fear grounds me. There is no power in pompous + i dont know that i can ever be that. Because my strength is also rooted in fear. The fear + wonder if + when, will my dreams come to life?
But i don't let it cripple me. I come back to what I teach:
 Breathe. You got this. Do not seek outward when you know everything you need is inside. Be here. Fuel your time with what fuels you. Your body too. Your heart most. Keep giving + you will get in return. Your energy will guide the way. Do not settle for less than your worth. Ask for what you want. Be true. To you + others. Flow thru the fight. Choose ease over resistance. things will evolve, slowly but surely. You cannot predict the future.
You cannot change the past. Be here now.

And with that i take a big breath. And overcome my self imposed fear. For now at least, to take what i know, and grow into the next version of me. I will build along the way, and simultaneously I will shed -- continuing to let go of what no longer serves me, as i grow into what does. No matter what, i am rooted in my spirit. I am confident in me -- all of me, even my fear of the unknown --  my self inflicted sunday scaries, my struggle + success.

Growth comes from foundation.
In learning to love who i am, i am growing into who i want to be.
And who i want to be, is yet to be known.
We are not who we were. We are who we are.
Not past. Not future. But present.
My fear of the future is out of my control.
So i must stand strong in what i have now, instead of in fear of what i don't,
the answers to the one question i fixate on most:  if + when, will all my dreams come true?
and with that, i come back to me. And in confidence i reply:
yes, olivia, they will. have faith. It will all make sense in the end.
face yourself to free yourself. #workhard #livyoung

I would love to hear your story. your fear, or otherwise. send me a note.