3 Years In

I started box + flow 3 years ago, on a paper napkin. Writing my feelings. Phrases I said to myself  as I boxed + flowed daily, on the bag, on the mat, in my own life. To rid of anxiety, flow thru the fight, to find clarity within. Boxing gave me strength, yoga forced me to feel. Both demanded a presence of me I didn’t know was possible as an anxious over planner who didn’t know how to just be here.. Until I did. I tapped into my breath, my now, and faced myself and my fears  every time I gloved up or flowed down. I tapped into to my power – my balance, my duality. I opened up, I let in, I let go. That napkin transitioned into my commitment to me.  I quit my job, broke up with boyfriend, stopped filling my time + started fueling my life. That commitment is the feeling of being alive, to livyoung – which I accessed thru the “workhard” effort of “box +flow”. I am olivia. But I love to livyoung. I want to feel alive always, and I wanted to share that balanced empowerment with the world. We’re here to feel Alive. But it is a choice. 

 Reflecting on 3 years open: April 2016 I quit my job, opened a bank account, started shopping for spaces and started talking to too many people. My conviction became clouded with doubt and insecurity. I sought validation when I really only needed my own. For the next 5 months I lost my mind. My days went dark. I stopped boxing, believing in myself and filled my time with empty. The feeling of being alive escaped me. I couldn’t get out of bed. With no job title to hide behind or boyfriend to validate me, I questioned my existence. I lost of myself because I had spent most of my adult years defining me thru everything else. Autopilot on, I  courted business partners, ex boyfriends and potential leases. I would just get married, or give away a ton of equity to anyone that would help. I lost faith + conviction. All fight, no flow, I lost me. I wasted time trusting everyone but myself. I even convinced myself to sign a 10 year lease with no lawyer present. As my intuition screamed, in the final hour, I was saved by the bell. My ex-boyfriend called with comments from his real estate attorney, and told me to RUN. That was my sign. Box + flow was not in my cards. Bye dream. I was stuck in my way. I needed to trust myself, to grant myself permission to grow. So I did. 


I stopped fighting and my future began to flow. The right space found me, even if it had a crack pipe on the ledge, a closet full of cut wires – remnants of a Chinese radio station and a recurring trunk show of mens onesies. It had energy. I felt it. It felt good. I signed the lease within a few weeks, found a team to teach, painted the walls, hung up some heavy bags and opened at 55 Bond Street. And we flowed. I got by with a little help from my friends and made the most of what I had. I couldn’t understand why strangers were so apt to help, until I realized for so long I had been giving so much. And now it was my time get back. What a gift, to just receive. I did. My heart opened as the doors opened. Hard became easy. I figured things out along the way. And I still am. Stronger no doubt, and also getting stuck in my own way, sometimes. As we all do. But I flow thru the fight. 


Over the past three years I’ve faced my lonely and learned tough lessons no doubt. When I get needy I reach out more than look in, fill my time with empty and accept less than my worth. And then I move on. I’ve been berated by employees, harassed by contractors, disappointed by friends, taken advantage of by colleagues, and been too hard on myself. It took me two years to demand the respect I deserve. To see myself as the sole founder, boss, CEO, in charge. If you don’t value yourself, you won’t be valued. But I am the boss. And I’ve grown to own that role confidently, but I’ll never forget the early days running to turn on the heat at 5am in a snowstorm or getting text messages from the restaurant downstairs that bowls of crab curry were falling off tables because our music was too loud. Or getting threats from a contractor to put a lien on my building because I wouldn’t pay a balance for a job he didn’t do. 


Today, I no longer accept mediocre, of myself, or anyone else. And when I get stuck, I flow thru the fight. Progress requires patience. And teamwork! I am no longer alone. I have a team, a business partner, a community who I support and support me. Today I teach from love, grow from within, inspire others as I inspire myself to believe everything is possible, that life is ours to LIV, if we stop limiting, if we let go with less fight and more flow. I am so grateful. Mostly, I have me. And while don’t have all the answers, I know that if I trust myself, and choose confidence over insecurity, heart over ego, and shut off the noise, I can make change. Because the only way to change the world is to change the way we see ourselves. That is my mission. TO bring mindfulness to the fight. And I will keep flowing as I grow with grit, determination, hustle and heart. Because We are just getting started. Thank you for being along for the ride. I can’t wait to share more of me and learn more of you., as we open Box + flow #2, Stay tuned.

 xx
Olivia